We moved to Arkansas and Abree is doing treatments again at The Spero Clinic. Not the expected outcome, but it is what it is. But how grateful I am that we have a place to go to receive help.
Abree was doing fantastic when we last left. She couldn't return to sports or physical activity but we were ok with that knowing she wasn't in pain. I thought maybe in time she could return to sports. But then within a few weeks of school starting, the pain came back and she began having pain spikes up to 10. We weren't too worried at first. We knew she just needed some time to adjust to the stress of school and figured it would calm back down as the year went on. We continued with treatments online and she would have days were it got a little better, but overall she was still living in a constant state of 5-6 on the pain scale. She figured out how to put a smile on her face but Zac and I were a little concerned.
In December we took her back for her 2 week check in and they pushed me to get Abree started in the program again. I was hesitant because I didn't know how to make it work with our family and my business. But her pain was getting worse and now she was struggling to eat. She was back to not being able to wear shoes and clothes hurt again. Her life was going back down hill fast. I knew she was getting worse but I didn't realize how bad until they did her first set of scans in April. Her heat scans were worse than they were when she started the program in 2023. After that moment, I knew she was where she needed to be.
Now rewind back the last 2 years and see how God prepared me for "all" things.
Back in 2022 while working in the Bountiful Temple, I had a strong impression that the Lord would soon be asking our family to make a great sacrifice not only financially but I had a strong impression we would be moving. When we took Abree to the clinic in 2023, I assumed this was the sacrifice the Lord was preparing me for and didn't think much more about it. But in December of 2023 I learned that he had another sacrifice for us and that Abree's treatments in 2023 was just the beginning.
In October of 2023, Zac came to me and told me we needed to move to Arkansas to be close to the clinic. I laughed out loud and told him it wasn't going to happen. I just assumed she'd be fine after another 2 week visit to the clinic. But little did I realize how wrong I was. I quickly learned, God's plan is definitely not my plan. He had been preparing me for almost 2 years and I hadn't been listening.
In November of 2023 we took the family on a trip to Austria to visit the Christmas markets. During the long plane and train rides I read the book "The Spirit of Revelation" by Elder David A Bednar. During that reading I'd have moments of inspiration that I would know we needed to move, but then when I'd really think about it I let fear take over and I was terrified to move. My mind would focus on the "how" was this supposed to work, "what" would happen to my business?, "how" would my kids handle the move, etc. I froze in fear of the unknown and I didn't move. Then in December when I was back with Abree at the clinic we decided to go look at homes. I became physically sick from this. I was fighting it and I didn't want to move. I wanted to do my will, not God's and because of that I found myself in turmoil! There was no peace. After a long conversation with my sisters, I opened my heart to God and had my "wrestle" with Him. In that moment, I found my peace. I was surrounded in His love, His understanding, and His will. No more did I want to do my will, but I wanted to do His will. As I found that peace, the fear and physical sickness left and I found the courage to move forward. I still didn't know any "hows", but I knew what our family needed.
As we began to move forward with the plan to move to Arkansas, there were so many unknowns of how we would make it work. But we focused on what God asked of us and we moved forward. We found so much comfort in our daily study of the Book of Mormon and all God asked of Nephi. We found a parallel for our specific needs. And just as God provided the way for Nephi, He provided the way for our family!! The moment we acted in faith to put our house up for sale, many of the miracles to help with the how fell into place. It was the most beautiful thing to watch! God is truly amazing and merciful! He is wanting and willing to provide the miracles as they align with His timing and will.
This move has been a very hard decision for me and my family, but yet we have received an abundance of love and grace to help us be able to continue to move forward. Our neighborhood, ward (old and new), business has been a tremendous blessing to us with their service and love. God knew we needed angels and he sent them in the form of our family, neighbors, employees and friends.
This experience has opened my eyes to help me better see how important it is to follow God's will over my own. For the last 2 years I have been trying to learn better how to trust God and He gave me an experience to do just that! I will be forever grateful for his patience in my and my learning!
Here is to trusting God's plan over mine own. Knowing He is in charge and "Come what may and love it"!
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