Back in September of 2019 I laid wide awake in bed with this idea of needing to write a book. The thought was insane! I don't know how to write very well. I can't even post a social media post without misspelling something. Yet, I continued to lay there with ideas flowing through my head. I felt like I needed to write something for the 3 seniors I was coaching at the time so they could be prepared to enter the world when they graduated. As the ideas passed through my mind, I started taking notes. As soon as I wrote down the ideas, I fell asleep within minutes of laying back down.
Over the next few months I began researching and developing these ideas that I first wrote down that night in bed. As they developed into chapters, I recognized that I was writing my healing process of my struggle with depression. As I continued to write, I wondered why in the world these gymnasts need these stories and experiences I was sharing. Little did I know at the time, within 6 months everyone's world would be turned upside down and we would face an event that we've never had in our lifetime. These three seniors would lose the end of their gymnastics season and their senior year of high school. They would probably never do gymnastics again.
This past week, one of these gymnasts came to my house for hallmark with Abree and I. After we began discussing life and she shared with me the challenges she is facing because of COVID and the loss of gymnastics. As she went through all of her feelings, I recognized why I needed to share some of the things I did. I shared with her how she needs to process her feelings. She needs to be able to heal so she can learn to love other things in life. We talked about the challenges she can face in life if she doesn't allow herself to heal. When we don't process grief or we allow fear to rule our actions we become a robot. We go through the motions of life, but there is no feeling.
While writing this book, I've come to see the importance of living life and not letting fear control me. There is so much good in life and God has given us much to enjoy. He wants us to have joy in the life! That is His purpose. He has given us family and friends. He has given us beautiful landscapes and amazing places on earth to visit. He has given us culture so we aren't all the same and there is uniqueness to us all. He has given us food, full of different tastes and richness. He has given music with a range of instruments and sounds. He has given us sports, work, and entertainment. Most importantly He has given us Jesus Christ! All of these things can bring joy in our lives when our heart is open to feel joy. The only way our heart can be open is by validated the bad things that happen to us and then finding ways to move forward in faith.
Life is amazing!! Life is colorful! Life is for joy! Take a self evaluation - are you living life or are you going through the motions of life? If you are going through the motions, why? What event in your life caused you to freeze? How can you emotionally move past that freeze so you can live again? How are you finding joy in your life?
My greatest joys during COVID have come from my family! Those moments where we can sit together and laugh with each other. The moments we explore new places together or try new things (within the state of Utah because of traveling restrictions). Those moments of watching my kids experience something great in their life (like learning a new skill in gymnastics or improving their musical abilities). And the newest joy I have found over COVID has been from seeing my children feel and recognize the spirit in their life.
*** This was us exploring camping and exploring by Duck Creek. Nature is amazing at clearing and centering us back on Christ. ***
***Paddle boarding with the kids. Our new favorite activity!!***
***Hiking new areas and finding snow because we didn't think about that part.***
Look at your life, what is bringing you the most joy right now!
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