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Broken or Beautiful ??

I've been struggling with everything going on in the world.  When did the whole world become a victim?  How did society become this way?  At what point did we forget that we have to move forward in life?

My mind keeps reeling with this concept of victimization.  I found myself in that state for far too long and it was ruining my life!  The day that I realized I was only a victim to myself was the day I was able to wake up and move forward in life.

In 2016 I was rear ended.  Little did I know that within a week of that car accident my day to day life would change.  Seven months before the accident I bought a gymnastics gym and was fulfilling a life long dream.  I thought life was perfect and I was doing everything I had ever wanted to do.  Then in a moment the impact slammed me into the headrest and life changed.  

The trauma of that accident caused my body to shut down in ways I didn't even know were possible.  The enzymes in my cells that accept nutrients stopped working. The accident was on a Monday and by Friday my body had no more nutrients to sustain itself.  I found myself calling my husband to pick me up from work because I could no longer stand or walk.  For over a year he had to carry me up the stairs on days that I over exerted myself because my body didn't have the strength to continue.  We still have days that I have to turn to him and say it's just too much to hold my head up today and I spend the day in bed.

Here I was, a mother of 5, a business owner, and a very active person who loved the outdoors, stuck in bed for days a time.  Life wasn't fair! I would try to exercise and that would put me in bed for even more days.  Then the best rest would cause my chronic pain to flare up.  So no matter what I did, I was in constant pain.  

As I began to live this new reality that I couldn't do the same things I did before the accident, I found myself in a victim mentality state.  Instead of grieving and moving forward, I would constantly think "life isn't fair", "why did this have to happen to me", or "I just want to go back to normal".  I would focus on all the things I couldn't do and get more depressed and angry with my life situation.  

Luckily I have the most amazing husband who taught me to focus on all the things that I do have and all the things I could do.  He would remind me that on the worse days if I just hugged the kids it was enough.  It was hard.  It still didn't seem fair and I felt like I was failing all the time.  

Overtime as I focused on all the little things I could do and as I recognized my tender mercies in my life, my attitude changed.  I could see why I needed these things to happen in my life.  I could see love and light from God.  I could see He hadn't forgotten me, but instead He was there with me through it all.  I could see Him sending me strength and doing things I shouldn't have been able to do given my health problems.  I learned that when I focused on God and Christ, I wasn't a victim!  I learned I was strong through them!

How do we help the world see they don't need to be a victim of the bad that happens to them in life?  How do we help them see that with God, even in their bad times he can turn them into the most beautiful art piece there is?

I love the song Broken and Beautiful by Calee Reed.  There I learned about an art called kintsugi.  Here is her blog link that has the lyrics, music video, and definition of kintsugi - http://lifesshorteatdessert.blogspot.com/2018/06/broken-and-beautiful.html.  God will make us into what we need to be. 

It's not a matter of IF bad things are going to happen to us, it's a matter of WHEN.  So prepare yourself.  Be mentally strong so you can see God with you even when you are a victim of something horrible.  Let HIM heal you!  Let Him take that horrible moment and make it into the most amazing ride of your life!

You can choose to be a victim or you can choose to rise above the horrible events of what have been forced upon you.  Which will you choose?

Comments

April said…
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your story so we can all benefit. Really beautiful.

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