I've been behind on my writing. I have lots of ideas that I feel passionate about and when I go to put it onto paper, it's just not right. I have started multiple posts trying to decide what to write, but just can't quite seem to get my words out correctly. And so I thought, I'll wait another day. Well that day turned into 2 weeks.
How often do we feel prompting to do something and when it just doesn't come as easily as it did the first few times, we justify and give up? As I write this I realize I've done it more times then I am proud of. I realize this is Satan's tool to get us not to stay fully committed to what God wants us to do! What has God called you to do?
I don't know about you, but I always feel a need to do things perfect. This sense of perfectionism ends up holding me back from doing so many things or it spikes my anxiety and causes me to freeze in fear of failure.
While I list some of these events in my life, think of any events in your life where you may have done the same.
My whole life I had been a gymnast. Gymnastics was all I knew how to do and then injury struck and gymnasts was out of my life. My sister and best friends all played soccer at the time. They wanted me to play with them. The coach saw my potential and tried working with me. I was fine during practices. I actually enjoyed the sport. Then it was game time. I found every excuse of why I couldn't play. I would beg the coach to bench me so I couldn't get out on the field and accidentally mess something up. I look back on that first year of soccer and am so disappointed with myself.
Next event is during college. I loved the medical field. I found anatomy fascinating! I started looking into the courses for the nursing program and organic chemistry was one of the requirements. Everyone told me how hard it was and it was a weed out course. Without even thinking twice I threw that program out and didn't even try for it. I figured if others got cut, I'd surly be cut.
Recently I feel I'm supposed to be writing. I'm not good with writing. English was my worst subject in school. I struggle to help my kids with their English homework. I don't understand all the complexity behind sentence structures. But yet, I feel it's what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Here and there the words flow freely to the page. I'll go back and read it and I'm amazing at how it sounds. Other times I can't even get 2 sentences written on what I'm feeling. And because of that I give up. I've set aside a book that I felt strongly about writing just because I feel I'm not good enough to write it.
These are just a few instances. I have many more in my life! But why is it that the fear of imperfection holds us back from doing things that we could find joy in? Why do we, or I, turn away from things so easily in life because I stumble and fall sometimes. Isn't that the purpose of life? Isn't that how we actually find joy, through falling and getting back up? So why is this concept so hard for me to apply into my own life?
I put so much pressure on myself to always be perfect and unfortunately set myself up for failure with that mindset. I CAN'T be perfect! But I can always be working towards perfection. In 1995, then Elder Russell M Nelson gave a talk entitled Pending Perfection and said,
"Scriptures have described Noah, Seth, and Job as perfect men. No doubt the same term might apply to a large number of faithful disciples in various dispensations. Alma said that "there were many, exceeding great many," who were pure before the Lord.
This does not mean that these people never made mistakes or never had need of correction. The process of perfection includes challenges to overcome and steps to repentance that may be very painful. There is a proper place for chastisement in the molding of character, for we know that "whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth."
I love that he says, "the process of perfection includes challenges to overcome"! We need the challenges! Satan is going to do everything he can to prevent us from becoming perfect. He doesn't want us to be able to return to our Heavenly Father. he wants us miserable like him. He succeeds when we give up because the challenge is too hard.
Let us find a balance in our desire to be perfect. Don't let your perfectionism hold you back from doing something in life, especially something God has called you to do. Remember that you will become better in the imperfections of life! I will remember this and keep moving forward!
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