We traveled to Arizona this weekend for gymnastics meets. I loved the idea of the sunshine and warm weather. My personality needs it! Hunter always refers to me as a plant. The sun is my food and I really am replenished by the light. But my weekend didn't go as I wanted. I think the only sun I got was when I was eating lunch at In-N-Out and then in the car ride to and from the venue. It was very disappointing getting on the plane today. I missed out on so much! Or at least I thought I did, but yet, my mind came back rejuvenated with new learning.
Over the last few years we have traveled for gym meets because it is important for the girls. As a coach I have not liked them. The girls struggle and they don't compete as they normally do and my competitive side just gets the best of me. I walk away from the weekend frustrated, wondering how I can coach the girls better.
Well, this weekend was a completely different experience for me! I'm not coaching on a daily basis. I get to come out when I want to come out. And when I go to a meet with the girls, I get to be there in a completely supportive role.
We began competitions with our level 6's. We have 5 girls right now competing that level. Three of which have scored out of multiple levels just this year. We knew we pushed them hard to get to level 6. We knew scores may not quite be where we normally are, but we knew it would be the best thing for those girls.
Those same 3 girls have never done a travel meet before. Honestly, I don't think they've ever done a meet where there are 2 different sessions going on at the same time. Let's just say it's a lot to take it. Honestly, it's overwhelming your first time.
As the girls came to their first event - bars, which we already knew was their weaker event, we could feel their nervousness. But of course we encouraged them, tried to remind them that they need to think of it like a practice and focus on letting their body do what they know how to do.
First girl gets on the bar and dismounts to her face. Next girl, same things. Then 2 more. What??? I was shocked. What in the world was going on. Some of these girls have never done that before. Then the tears started. I began hugging and encouraging the girls. Trying to help them stay out of their heads and remind them sometimes weird things just happen. Focus on how many times they've done it correctly and blah blah blah.
Then it was time to compete......yikes! I was nervous for them. First couple of girls go and pull it off. Then one of the girls that we skipped up 2 levels got up and face plants at the end of the routine. And the tears just started. Not just little tears, but huge crocodile tears. She was embarrassed, frustrated, disappointed. All the emotions were flowing. Nothing I said was going to help her. But I tried anyways. I tried to remind her that it was ok to mess up. It didn't determine the outcome of the meet. It was just the first event. She still had 3 more events to go compete.
And then she taught me something (after a nice stern talk from her main coach of making sure she was mentally safe to compete the rest of the events). She got up onto that beam and nailed her routine! She smiled! She ended up doing the best beam routine she's done this whole year!
She taught me that it was ok to forgive yourself during your disappointing moments!
This is a concept I'm trying to grasp in my life (if you haven't already noticed ;). I'm beyond hard on myself. I tell myself I'm not allowed to make mistakes or mess up. I'm not allowed to disappointment myself or others. And because of that, I've held myself back from becoming and doing the best that I can do.
The mistakes are lessons! We need them. We should welcome them!
It's only in those moments that we can learn how to truly move forward in life! It's only from seeing and feeling the disappointment of the mistake that we can take the next better step towards our Heavenly Father.
The mistake doesn't determine who you are, it just reminds us of our reliance on God! One mistake doesn't have to determine our destiny if we use it to learn and grow. It only holds us back when we can't forgive ourselves and move past it.
Just like in gymnastics where we have multiple events to compete in the competition, life is years in the making! I have to forgive myself so I can move forward and keep living life! I have to accept that there may be imperfections and mistakes a long the way. But each day I can look at those and see how to improve them for the next day or I can beat myself up and get stuck in the what could have been.
After a disappointing meet I have always told my gymnasts to focus on the good that happened during the meet and not worry about the mistakes till the next practice. Then when they walk into practice come with the mindset of what they need to do to improve.
It's the exact same concept in life! We need to see and focus on the good that we are doing in life, but use the mistakes and imperfections to help us keep a mindset of improving and becoming.
It's a personal choice and it's a daily choice! What are you going to choose?
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