"It was the witness of the Spirit of the coming Atonement which saw Job through the tests life is intended to include for all of us. That is part of the great plan of happiness the Father gave us. He allowed His Son to provide, by His atoning sacrifice, the hope that comforts us no matter how hard the way home to Him may be." (Paul V. Johnson, "More Than Conquerors through Him That Loved Us," Ensign or Liahona, May 2011, 78-79)
Job is one of those men I look at in the scriptures and wonder how, after losing everything, could he respond the way he did. He was firm in the faith. He never doubted. He allowed life to happen and then continued forward towards Christ no matter how much pain life caused him. I wanted to face life the way he did. I wanted to be able to just trust God no matter what happened to me. I knew things would be black and white and I'd be able to just say, I know, and that would change everything. But what I didn't understand as a youth was that Job learned though life's experience there was color. He found joy in the color!
Life Application:
Growing up I was a competitive gymnast from age 5 yrs old to 15 yrs old. That was my life for those 10 years. I traveled the world competing and going to camps. I also spent all my free time in the gym. When you become this involved in gymnastics a college scholarship is your dream. I lived in Alabama and at my time of gymnastics the top 3 schools were Alabama, Georgia and Utah. I dreamt of going to Utah on a scholarship and then entering medical school to become an orthopedic surgeon.
Background on how gymnastics worked in my day. You competed level 2 -10. After level 10 you could try for elite, which are the Olympians, or try for a college scholarship. I was 15 years old and just scored out of level 9 and on my way to level 10 when injury struck and the doctor said I could choose to walk or stay in gymnastics. And so I walked away from the sport I loved!
The first few years weren't too bad. I had felt peace that day in the doctor's office. I knew stopping was the right thing for me. I continued to coach and be part of the sport and loved what I was doing. Then I went to BYU. Somehow you end up surrounded by people with love for the same things as you and I began meeting some of the gymnasts. At first I was fine, but then I went to the first gymnastics meet. I couldn't even finish watching. I broke down in tears and became angry. When I quit gym I was doing almost everything these girls were competing. The question that kept playing through my mind was - Why was I not good enough? Why couldn't it have worked out for me? I came back home the summer after freshman year and continued to coach, but I was bitter. After that summer I walked completely away from the sport for the next five years.
On my mission, as I was struggling with the language, home sickness, physical sickness, and companion I was ready to give up and come home when I realized that wasn't who I was. Gymnastics had taught me to never quit when things were hard. It then that I realized how much gymnastics had blessed my life. I loved who I had become because of gymnastics. As my mission progressed I knew I needed to get back into the sport that had made me who I was. It had made me strong, taught me to keep going even when things were hard or I was terrified, taught me to be self-disciplined and hold myself accountable for my actions. As I realized what an amazing sport it was, I couldn't believe I had let myself become so bitter and stay away for so long.
Well, my first challenge came and I didn't quite respond like Job. Why? What happened that made it so easy to fell betrayed? In studying Job again, I realized that Job still had feelings of sadness during all of his trials. He allowed those feelings to come so he could heal from the physical trials he was passing through. He understood darkness and betrayal! But even feeling all this, he knew God knows all and He trusted God's plan. He recognized that life wasn't black and white, there was color in life and the Savior is the one who allows you to see the color during life.
Elder Richard G Scott taught us, "When you face adversity, you can be led to ask many questions. Some serve a useful purpose; others do not. To ask, Why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to suffer this now? What have I done to cause this? will lead you into blind alleys. it really does no good to ask questions that reflect opposition to the will of God. Rather ask, What am I to do? What am I to learn from this experience? What am I to change? Whom am I to help? How can I remember my man blessings in times of trial?.."This life is an experience in profound trust - trust in Jesus Christ, trust in His teachings, trust in our capacity as led by the Holy Spirit to obey those teachings. ... To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning (see Prov 3:5-7). To produce fruit, your trust in the Lord must be more powerful and enduring than your confidence in your own personal feelings and experience." (Trust in the Lord)
That was the difference! I was asking the wrong questions! I was trying to keep life black and white. Job never questioned God! He dealt with and allowed himself to feel the pain, sadness, and all other emotions, but he didn't question God for sending the trial. Instead, he chose to allow the Savior to show him the beautiful colors during life. I needed to do the same thing. Black and white photos can be beautiful, but the photos that capture all colors take my breath away! We can never fully understand joy without seeing all the colors during life. Which means, no matter what comes, we must turn to Christ and allow Him to open our eyes.
Now fast forward 20 plus years after walking away from being a gymnast. It was 2016, I bought a gymnastics gym and was coaching optional gymnastics, Level 6-10. One of the things I love most about coaching is to sit with the gymnast and talk to them about their goals in gymnastics and life. One day, I was with one particularly talented gymnast, she was telling me how much she wanted a scholarship, but knew it wouldn't happen. A year before she suffered from a pretty bad concussion and it changed her ability to do gymnastics. She was devastated. She felt everything she had worked for was being thrown out the window and she had wasted 10 years of her life. My heart broke! I knew exactly how she felt! When I had to quit, I had felt ripped off from God. I couldn't understand why he would give me a talent and then just rip it away. This gymnast of mine was feeling the same thing. As we began talking about all the good that comes from the years in gymnastics, I had a strong impression come to me. It said, "College is just the cherry on top!" Wow! Why had it taken me 20 years to figure that out?! This gymnast and I didn't need college to define our gymnastics career. We had built that career every day we walked into the gym; every day we turned down our friends on the weekends because we had a gymnastics meet; every day we woke up early during the summer to make it to our 4-5 hour practice; every day we pushed ourselves to do tricks that we were terrified of doing, but knew we had to do them to progress; every day we were exhausted at the end of practice but still had an hour of conditioning because our muscles needed to be stronger. All those things defined our gymnastics career and made us who we were meant to be, not the college scholarship!
I call this concept the parable of the cherry on top. I have come to understand that life is like an ice cream Sunday. The choices we make every day of our lives make up the sunday! Our dreams are just the cherries on top. If they are meant to be they will happen and we can enjoy that extra cherry. If they don't happen we don't need to feel crushed because it just means we will find that cherry on top somewhere else. We aren't left out, we don't get punished and not have a cherry, it means we have a different road to take to get that cherry. We don't need to question God and blame Him for things not happening. Sometimes we don't reach our goals from our own shortcomings and sometimes we don't reach our goals because it's not the path God has for us. It's not in our best interest. This parable teaches us to not question God. It teaches us we aren' t failures when things don't work out the way we want them to. it teaches us to let God prevail and trust He will proved us wit the juiciest and sweetest cherry just to our liking when the time is right.
And 20 years later I can see that! Heavenly Father sent me down the path that would lead to me owning my own gymnastics gym! It really is the sweeter cherry on top for me.
Learning to not question God in our times of trial opens the connection between God and ourselves. Don't let this make you think that you can't feel all the emotions that come from the trial. Emotions are real and never let yourself feel you are wrong for feeling them. Process the emotions! Just remember while processing them, still allow yourself to recognize God's all powerful hand in your life. Trust that there are reasons for ALL things and there are things to learn from the trials you are facing. By not questioning God, we are turning towards the storm and facing it, instead of running from it!
KEEP THOSE EYES OPEN, THERE JUST MAY BE A FEW RAINBOWS IN THE STORM!!
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