This picture sums up my week and my last few months - GIRLS CAMP!! The good, the bad, and the most wonderful all in one week. It takes a year of planning normally and yet we pulled it off in less then 3 months due to Covid. There were many nights of not sleeping and stressing over how it was going to work out. Many week after week meetings making sure we as leaders were all on the same page. Last minute texts making sure we had gotten everything. And then, even as we were taking this picture on the very first morning, I was panicking about how it was all going to work out. And yet, these few days of girls camp were one of the best weeks I have had in a very long time. It took all my physical strength, but yet my spirit was more alive than it's been in years. My spirit would rejuvenate my body and give me the physical strength to keep going. You may ask, how is that so? And my simple answer is - SERVICE!
For 5 years now I have not been serving very much. My chronic illnesses and lack of physical strength have caused me to rely on others to serve me, but unfortunately has kept me from providing the service to others that I have always been used to. Well, since I couldn't provide the service I knew how to do, I stopped serving all together. I could feel my spirit begging me to serve, but I didn't know how and I didn't know what to do. Instead of praying for help and answers, I pushed those feelings to the side and justified that I didn't need to serve because of my health issues.
Well, this last week, I was "forced" to serve and it was the BEST thing that I could have done! I can see now how the simplest acts of service not only help those around you, but change you in the process as well. I'm pretty sure this week I gained more then the girls spiritually. I feel a little guilty about saying that because the week is all about the girls, but it is true. Serving teaches you how to feel true joy!
In my book one of my chapters talks about the power of service. Here is an excerpt from it.
"...that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, you are only in the service of your God."(Mosiah 2:17)
The next few paragraph are from an article entitled "Answer the Call" by Jack H Goaslind in the May 1993 Ensign.
"From 1846 until 1969, when the railroad came to Utah, many members of the Church traveled across the plains to the Salt Lake Valley. They came by wagons and on foot. From 1856 to 1860, many pushed or pulled small handcarts with loads of their worldly possessions packed inside. The trip was hard and long, and the Saints who made it to the valley arrived tired, sick and hungry. Some turned back and, unfortunately, many died along the way."
"In the general conference of October 1856, word came to Salt Lake of the plight of the Willey and Martin handcart companies. They had started out late, and had been struck by an early winter storm in the plains of Wyoming. president Brigham Young adjourned the conference and called able-bodied men to quickly gather supplies and organize a rescue party. They left early the next morning to ride to the stranded Saints. Among the many valiant men who rode out of the Salt Lake City that day were Young men by the names of C. Allen Huntington, George W. Grant, David P. Kimball, and Steven W. Taylor. They could not have known on that day what would be required of them or what contribution they would make to the building of the kingdom."
"Arriving at the banks of the ice-filled Sweetwater River with many others who sought to rescue the stranded travelers, they found the handcart companies bogged down in snow 18 inches deep. Men, women, and children among the group were too weak to cross the river. Their energy was spent, their strength was gone, and no doubt they felt the effects of frostbite, hypothermia, and chronic fatigue."
"It was then that these strong young men made a sacrifice for others that few are ever called upon to make. They waded into the stream time and time again, carrying almost every member of the company across the icy stream. Back and forth they crossed until every member was safe on the other side and on their way to shelter and finally into the Salt Lake Valley. These young men, by then cold, wet, and suffering themselves, joined the ranks of the heroes that day. They were not perfect-they were probably "regular" young men with faults and shortcomings, with their own problems, fears, and weaknesses. But they answered the call of the prophet - they were where the Lord could find them when they were needed to bless the lives of others."
Why did these young men, with such a bright future, step up in the moment that they did? Why did they offer their lives to save hundred of others? They understood the blessings of service!! They understood when they served their fellow man, they could live fully.
In the mountains of Northern Morocco live a village full of Berber people. These people are known as the mountain people. They have their own language, their own school system, even their own flag. These people are simple people. They have kept to basic living needs. Their sense of community is most important to them. Zac and I had the opportunity to visit a few of their cities while on vacation in Morocco. The city of Chefchaoun was my most favorite! We had a private tour with a young man who was born and raised in this city. He was proud to tell us of their history, but most proud to tell us about their community. As we toured he told us how the people did most of their daily living together. In each of their communities they had their four main focus points - neighborhood church, neighborhood oven, neighborhood laundry, and neighborhood showers. Though most people have an oven, washer and showers in their homes, they still gather together at certain times to be together as a community. This amazed me as I listened to his city's history. Why would anyone ever choose to still was their clothes in an old school concrete slab, gravity slanted pool? Why would anyone ever want to shower together as a community? Why would anyone choose to walk a couple of blocks just to cook their bread? These people even choose to paint their homes on the same days. I couldn't understand the mindset. it seemed so inconvenient and just plain weird if you asked me. As he continued to talk to us, my mind was opened to an understanding I once had, but somewhere in life lost. They gathered together to do these old "rituals" not because it was convenient, but because it was a way to bless each other's lives. it was a way to minister together. it was a way to lift one another's burdens. It was a way to be a friend. They wanted to support each other in the daily mundane life chores. As I watched these people, especially this tour guide, I was stunned at the amount of happiness, peace, and contentment he had in his life. He knew he could move to a bigger city and make more money, but he had no desire to do so. he wanted to help his neighbors. he wanted to support his community! Our tour was 2 hours long and throughout the tour, he could name everyone we passed by name. he would stop and ask how they were. he would stop and hold a child. he knew everyone and everyone knew him. As we left the city I knew I was missing a basic concept in my life. I knew if I wanted to find happiness again I needed to serve my fellow men.
Growing up I was taught to serve. My parents took in extra teenagers or members in the ward who were struggling. Mom seemed to always be helping someone. All of our activities at church focused on serving other and the community. The city I grew up in used to have Christmas in July and we would fix up people's homes and painted them. one year we even built a playground. These are moments of true joy! Every year for Christmas we would do the 12 Days of Christmas. It was my favorite time of the year! It was a time I would get so excited because I knew I'd be serving someone. Of course as a child, ding dong ditching made it eve more fun to serve, but there was a joy that came as we would leave meaningful gifts on someone's doorstep. I will never forget the time we knew a family wouldn't be able to have much that Christmas. As a family we decided to give up all of our newspaper route money and leave it on their doorstep. The joy from that moment has left an impression on my heart that I will never forget.
Through the first few years of marriage, Zac and I continued on the traditions of serving others and doing the 12 days of Christmas. One year, soon after moving into our second home, I was assigned to visit teach an older lady in our ward. initially I could understand why in the world I was assigned to her. She was bed ridden, really sick and I was a young mom of 4 children. We didn't have much in common. That Christmas her health declined and she was placed into a living center. I wanted to do something for her. Over the year that I had been visiting with her she had been teaching me so much. I swear she would lift me more than I could ever lift her. I wanted to repay her kindness. The budget was pretty tight that year and all we had was a small, fake Christmas tree that we had bought the day after Christmas the year before. Even though it was our only tree, I knew what we needed to do. The kids and I loaded up our small tree with the few ornaments we had and drove it up to her place. I wanted her and her daughters to celebrate Christmas at the living center with a decorated tree in her room. As we came home my kids were worried about what we would do for a tree that year. They worried if we didn't have a tree Santa wouldn't be able to find them. Now, I'm normally not the creative type, but in that moment I knew what we could do. As soon as we got home, I pulled out the colored paper and began cutting a tree. We taped it to the lamp in our front room where we normally put the tree and took pictures. This was a Christmas I never wanted to forget and I never have forgotten. Once again, while serving others I found a joy that would leave a lasting memory forever in my soul. It's also a memory my children will never forget. For in that day, they felt true joy as well.
As we serve, we must not forget that the most important people we can serve are the people within the walls of our own home. These people are our FAMILY! Service doesn't always have to be an event or money. The most important gift of service we can give our family is time.
Families were created to help us during this life. Back in the April 2015 Women's Conference, they sang a song about families. That song bore testimony to me of the importance of families and why we had to come together. We have a family to help us become what He wants us to be. We Need Each Other!
Having twins sent me into depression. I had anxiety every day I woke up. I was terrified to get out of bed to take care of them. Life was hard. Twins are a lot of work. I was exhausted, Zac was exhausted and yet we had 4 young children we had to take care of. One of the twins screamed all the time. She had to be held. But if I was holding her all the time, how was I supposed to take care of the other one? I would hold them both, but then I was exhausted beyond believe and my physical body just couldn't take that day after day. Then, when the twins were about 1.5 yrs old, the fits started. I could see that the girls had opposite personalities. One loves people and the other one not so much. Kinnley would scream and the screaming would last for 2-3 hours at a time. She would bite me, hit me, beat her head on the wall, etc. I couldn't talk with her like I could with my other children. Yes, she was young, but she couldn't comprehend what I was trying to teach her. I would cry every day! I honestly didn't know how I was supposed to take care of her. I was terrified to be around her. If I said or did anything from what she wanted, the screaming would begin. The whole family walked on eggshells. I stopped going to stores, I stopped cleaning the house, I honestly stopped living because I was so terrified of meltdowns. I was tired of the comments of others in the store when she would start into her fit. I was just straight out exhausted of life. By the age of 3, I started having her tested for medical issues that would explain what was wrong with her so we could live a normal life again. By the age of 5, she began telling us she didn't want to live anymore. She would tell us she hated life and wanted to go back and be with Jesus. The first time I heard her say this literally broke my heart. Here was my beautiful, yet difficult child, and she says life is too hard. How was I supposed to help her? The hardest part of a 5 year old's life is going to school and maybe picking up a mess they made. She struggled to make friends at school. By 6, we started seeing a therapist and then by 7 we started horse therapy, which honestly has been our saving grace. She is older now and still has her hard days and fits, but we can talk with her and work through things with her a little better. Doctors have never diagnosed her with anything and luckily through God's grace we've been able to find services to help. But it's mentally and physically exhausting as a parent. My heart goes out to all mothers and fathers with special needs children. My child's problems are only about 1/4 of what you go through in a single day. God bless you wit the extra grace you need to still be able to live each day!
But through all of this I realized how much family is a blessing. Kinnley needed a twin sister to help her in life. She was blessed with a twin that has a heart of gold and watches out for her on a daily basis. Kinnley needs parents that will love her despite her fits. And we truly love her with all our hearts. Kinnley needs a big brother who she idolizes and wants to be just like. She has been blessed with a brother who, bless his soul, knows how to love each one of his younger sisters despite their drama and meltdowns. Kinnley needed a family! What a blessing it is to be with her and to learn with her.
Service (whether community, one on one, or family) is a way for us to draw closer to the Lord. It's a way for Him to teach us His ways. As we love our neighbor we are loving God! As we give love, we will feel His love more abundantly in our lives.
Girls camp taught me that God can make up my physical weakness when I'm trying to give to those around me. It taught me that the joy of serving it's always worth the sacrifice! I am beyond grateful I was given this small, yet important, reminder!
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